I couldn't believe my eyes. She was reading a book. Reading a book! You do this in a public place when you're trying to make time pass until the Real Thing happens. Acceptable and understandable behaviour.
But here? Now?!
In the meantime, I was trying to stay fully seated and relaxed in my chair, and I kept finding my mouth disturbingly half-open, while my eyes tried to be everywhere at once and my ears scrambled to keep up to all that was taking place around me. If souls can tingle, mine was.
How could we be in the same room, reacting in such different ways?
The large gathering included a 235-voice choir, a well-known orchestra, and four professional soloists...all gathered to perform Handel's Messiah in a renowned concert hall that seats over 2000 people.
It was dress rehearsal night. I was a member of the choir. She was a member of the orchestra.
I had been anticipating this night for months. For me it was a pinch-me-I'm-here moment. Being able to hear and watch the orchestra up close. Marvelling at the vocal quality and lung capacity of the soloists. And singing...ahhh, singing! Those great words that have lasted for thousands of years, set to great music that has lasted for hundreds.
At the moment, neither of us had a role to play in the music.
I was soaking it in. She was reading a book.
Her book...it felt almost sacrilegious to me. Surrounded by such beauty...and tuning it out to read a book. How dare she?!
*****************
I've thought of this several times in the week since.
When I realized we must have prayed because we always do at That Spot and we were past That Spot now, but I couldn't remember it happening.
When I opened my Bible and couldn't decide if I'd read that chapter yesterday or if that's where I'm to start today.
When the pastor said we're at point #5 and I hadn't caught on that there were numerical points.
When the assigned reading was Luke 2, and I settled in to get nothing new out of this story I know inside out.
*****************
The fire has gone out of my disdain for The Lady with the Book.
I guess it's just plain Old Hat Syndrome. I'm seeking a cure.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Thy Comforts Delight My Soul
This morning I saw God again. Call it His fingerprints, or footsteps, or voice, or whatever. I'm quite certain it was Him.
I was just reading along in my Bible, trying to stay focused on what was there. And this was there.
"In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul" (Psalm 94:19).
The multitude of my thoughts within me. That applied. These days it sometimes feels like a ping pong match where the rule for one ball at a time has been misplaced.
So I noticed it. The verse. Verses That Apply do that to you. Make themselves noticed.
And I went on to the end of the verse. And felt thankful. Thy comforts delight my soul. What do His comforts look like? I thought of a few.
But it was time to hop in my car and go for a happy outing...breakfast with friends. (Have I mentioned what a Happy Thing my very own little car is?)
And that's when the comforts began to roll.
I turned on my CD...and a blast of "Hallelujah Chorus" met me (yes, a blast, because there are certain songs that need to be played on blast) . Big and Full and Grand. I had to sing along (Big and Full and Kind-of-Grand)...whichever part felt like the most funnest at the moment. (You do know that a car is the best sing-along venue, don't you? I just try not to have my mouth wide open when I meet other vehicles...other than that, anything goes.)
I rounded a bend in the road...and came upon the river in the morning. Little bits of almost-mist still hovering, nary a ripple, reflections.
It was along about then that the Verse That Applied came back to me. And I began to get Beauty Tears and Glory Shivers at the combo of it all. Whispering and shouting through the multitude of my thoughts within me, Thy comforts delight my soul.
By now my Comfort Sensor was on full alert. A brilliant orange branch here. That high soprano G. A whole bush of multi-coloured leaves Just Starting. King of kings and Lords of lords. Cresting a hill to layers of varying-haze ridges going on and on in the distance. And He shall reign for ever and ever and ever and ever.
At dusk, He sent another shipment. A piece of leftover sunshine gave enough light for a brilliant, high-arching rainbow over the backyard. The sky was grand, and something about the lighting made the grass a double green and the corn field a perfect autumn-corn-field colour. I hugged the wall under the eaves to stay dry enough to stand and worship. Thy comforts delight my soul.
Hallelujah!
I was just reading along in my Bible, trying to stay focused on what was there. And this was there.
"In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul" (Psalm 94:19).
The multitude of my thoughts within me. That applied. These days it sometimes feels like a ping pong match where the rule for one ball at a time has been misplaced.
So I noticed it. The verse. Verses That Apply do that to you. Make themselves noticed.
And I went on to the end of the verse. And felt thankful. Thy comforts delight my soul. What do His comforts look like? I thought of a few.
But it was time to hop in my car and go for a happy outing...breakfast with friends. (Have I mentioned what a Happy Thing my very own little car is?)
And that's when the comforts began to roll.
I turned on my CD...and a blast of "Hallelujah Chorus" met me (yes, a blast, because there are certain songs that need to be played on blast) . Big and Full and Grand. I had to sing along (Big and Full and Kind-of-Grand)...whichever part felt like the most funnest at the moment. (You do know that a car is the best sing-along venue, don't you? I just try not to have my mouth wide open when I meet other vehicles...other than that, anything goes.)
I rounded a bend in the road...and came upon the river in the morning. Little bits of almost-mist still hovering, nary a ripple, reflections.
It was along about then that the Verse That Applied came back to me. And I began to get Beauty Tears and Glory Shivers at the combo of it all. Whispering and shouting through the multitude of my thoughts within me, Thy comforts delight my soul.
By now my Comfort Sensor was on full alert. A brilliant orange branch here. That high soprano G. A whole bush of multi-coloured leaves Just Starting. King of kings and Lords of lords. Cresting a hill to layers of varying-haze ridges going on and on in the distance. And He shall reign for ever and ever and ever and ever.
At dusk, He sent another shipment. A piece of leftover sunshine gave enough light for a brilliant, high-arching rainbow over the backyard. The sky was grand, and something about the lighting made the grass a double green and the corn field a perfect autumn-corn-field colour. I hugged the wall under the eaves to stay dry enough to stand and worship. Thy comforts delight my soul.
Hallelujah!
Monday, September 03, 2012
Saturday Morning in Heaven
I love Saturdays. But I love Saturday mornings even more. The best part of it all is waking up at your own speed...and thinking you should get up...and then that moment of "aahhh" when you realize it's Saturday and you don't need to get up until you jolly well feel like it, and you just settle down deeper into the pillows and luxuriate in the fact. And you know that even when you do get up, you still have time slotted for no-deadline God Time...bring out the Bible and the journal and whatever else fits the moment.
(Disclaimer: I realize that not all have this luxury, but I make no apologies for this spot of blessing in my spot of living. I also realize that not all Saturdays are created equal, so don't worry your heads that this is my experience every week.)
Yesterday was one of the Saturdays where this kind of morning was up for grabs. I lay there revelling in it...listening to the friendly sounds of the neighbour children having a high old time out on the street, the rattle of the old clunker van and the plop on the driveway as it delivered the morning paper, the hum of the traffic out on the highway. Then there was the day ahead to plan and anticipate...simple pleasures of shopping, making snow ice, studying to teach Sunday school. And there was all that time mixed in between to wander current and widely-varied thought trails...events of the week past, tales from Miss Nancy that I was reading before I went to sleep and that call me to deeper Spirit-direction, and what really is the significance of the Ascension (due to said Sunday school lesson)?
On this particular Saturday morning, I "saw" my Saturday morning. You know, the Better Thing than enjoying SomeThing is when you realize you are enjoying the Thing before it's done and gone. That happened. Once upon a long time ago, one of my friends introduced this occurrence to me as a Now Moment. When you step back and see the Now while it's happening. So then I had to think about that for a while...
And my brain train took me to Saturday morning in Heaven. What will it be like to wake up in Heaven and realize I'm there? The ultimate Saturday morning, I'm thinking. The work week is finished. There is nothing I need to get up and make sure happens. I can rest and revel as long as I like. I've always been excited about seeing Jesus, and the glory of Heaven, and singing (and singing...and singing), but more and more, one of the best things about Heaven (I think) will be just the Rest. All things as they are meant to be. Rightness. No more wish-it-was-es or wish-it-wasn't-s, no more figure-out-what-I-need-to-do-about-this-es...just settle into my pillows and luxuriate in the fact that I'm Here. And that I have the whole "day" ahead to get up and spend God Time and explore and fellowship and sing and just Delight. Aahhh...
(Disclaimer: I realize that not all have this luxury, but I make no apologies for this spot of blessing in my spot of living. I also realize that not all Saturdays are created equal, so don't worry your heads that this is my experience every week.)
Yesterday was one of the Saturdays where this kind of morning was up for grabs. I lay there revelling in it...listening to the friendly sounds of the neighbour children having a high old time out on the street, the rattle of the old clunker van and the plop on the driveway as it delivered the morning paper, the hum of the traffic out on the highway. Then there was the day ahead to plan and anticipate...simple pleasures of shopping, making snow ice, studying to teach Sunday school. And there was all that time mixed in between to wander current and widely-varied thought trails...events of the week past, tales from Miss Nancy that I was reading before I went to sleep and that call me to deeper Spirit-direction, and what really is the significance of the Ascension (due to said Sunday school lesson)?
On this particular Saturday morning, I "saw" my Saturday morning. You know, the Better Thing than enjoying SomeThing is when you realize you are enjoying the Thing before it's done and gone. That happened. Once upon a long time ago, one of my friends introduced this occurrence to me as a Now Moment. When you step back and see the Now while it's happening. So then I had to think about that for a while...
And my brain train took me to Saturday morning in Heaven. What will it be like to wake up in Heaven and realize I'm there? The ultimate Saturday morning, I'm thinking. The work week is finished. There is nothing I need to get up and make sure happens. I can rest and revel as long as I like. I've always been excited about seeing Jesus, and the glory of Heaven, and singing (and singing...and singing), but more and more, one of the best things about Heaven (I think) will be just the Rest. All things as they are meant to be. Rightness. No more wish-it-was-es or wish-it-wasn't-s, no more figure-out-what-I-need-to-do-about-this-es...just settle into my pillows and luxuriate in the fact that I'm Here. And that I have the whole "day" ahead to get up and spend God Time and explore and fellowship and sing and just Delight. Aahhh...
Monday, August 13, 2012
Beginnings
I wish I knew how many weeks have passed since I got ambitious one day and finally created this blog site. Maybe I don't want to know. I do know it's been A Lot Longer than it was supposed to be between creation-of-site and posting-on-site. And by the way, I sense the need for a disclaimer here...I don't even know if I'm using the right lingo. I hear wisps of it here and there, but it's always a risk to start trying to engage in intelligent conversation (or worse yet, publication) that involves techie language. Perhaps that's partly why it's taken this long to get to this point...working up the courage to voluntarily place myself in greenhorn status while I figure out how to navigate the techie part of things, not to mention the blog culture which I'm sure must exist at some level. But I shall spare you the moans and march into Greenhorn Land with a smile and a wave.
But where does one begin? Beginnings beg to be significant, so here poor Blog has sat, waiting for a brainwave of Significant to reach shore. But all I can think of is the classic introduction of all fine verbal and written presentations--Definitions. You know the line, I'm sure. "According to Webster's..." Sometimes followed by thought-provoking angles on words that we hadn't pondered before, and sometimes followed by exactly what we would have replied if we were asked for a definition of said key word. Maybe you've noticed that, too. But hey...it provides a beginning!
And I am going to use it, tired though it may be. For I realize that my blog title contains words perhaps varying from Webster's. To be sure we are all on the same page, I shall proceed to give you Carolyn's definitions.
Ponders: n. 1) responses to things that make me go "hmm"; 2) brain trains that take me to areas perhaps not previously frequented; 3) ultimately, ideas that open up new perspectives on my Father and His ways.
Rambles: n. 1) random observations that strike when I'm not even looking for them; 2) bits of life that make me smile, grin, chuckle, laugh, or outright guffaw...or perhaps just shake my head; 3) stuff that comes along that only improves with sharing.
And as for the trail? I don't think I need to give an official definition for that. But I will share that the background you see here is a personal photo of a trail I wandered in the Himalayan foothills of Nepal. It's one of my favourite photos, just because it represents my journey in Nepal...and my journey in life. A grand mix of adventure and exhaustion, of exhilarating successes and disheartening defeats, of never knowing what's around the next bend, of life on the edge...all wrapped up in the glory of God on display around and through it all!
So there you have it...a beginning. I look forward to sending ponders and rambles your way on a quite unpremeditated, who-knows-what-or-when basis, as I make my way along God's chosen trail for me!
But where does one begin? Beginnings beg to be significant, so here poor Blog has sat, waiting for a brainwave of Significant to reach shore. But all I can think of is the classic introduction of all fine verbal and written presentations--Definitions. You know the line, I'm sure. "According to Webster's..." Sometimes followed by thought-provoking angles on words that we hadn't pondered before, and sometimes followed by exactly what we would have replied if we were asked for a definition of said key word. Maybe you've noticed that, too. But hey...it provides a beginning!
And I am going to use it, tired though it may be. For I realize that my blog title contains words perhaps varying from Webster's. To be sure we are all on the same page, I shall proceed to give you Carolyn's definitions.
Ponders: n. 1) responses to things that make me go "hmm"; 2) brain trains that take me to areas perhaps not previously frequented; 3) ultimately, ideas that open up new perspectives on my Father and His ways.
Rambles: n. 1) random observations that strike when I'm not even looking for them; 2) bits of life that make me smile, grin, chuckle, laugh, or outright guffaw...or perhaps just shake my head; 3) stuff that comes along that only improves with sharing.
And as for the trail? I don't think I need to give an official definition for that. But I will share that the background you see here is a personal photo of a trail I wandered in the Himalayan foothills of Nepal. It's one of my favourite photos, just because it represents my journey in Nepal...and my journey in life. A grand mix of adventure and exhaustion, of exhilarating successes and disheartening defeats, of never knowing what's around the next bend, of life on the edge...all wrapped up in the glory of God on display around and through it all!
So there you have it...a beginning. I look forward to sending ponders and rambles your way on a quite unpremeditated, who-knows-what-or-when basis, as I make my way along God's chosen trail for me!
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